i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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