i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
