i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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