im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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