No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Randomize
