Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
