i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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