They should really pass out barf bags in church
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
