I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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