Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She needs sedatives and a leash
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
