Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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