4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
