I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
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After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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