Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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