just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
