Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
