Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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