Porn is love you can see.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
