Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize