got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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