Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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