I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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