Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize