He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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