Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
