i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
