Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
