SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
