I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
