I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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