I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
