i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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