Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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