So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
