I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
