But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
