it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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