So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
