Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
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you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
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His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
dude. I can hear the air.
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