Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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