it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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