Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
