party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize