she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize