kristin has been a bad kristin
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
