do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
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I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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