I heard we made out
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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