I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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