I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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