brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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