Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I stole a fireplace last night.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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