just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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