With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
