Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
