I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
