also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
