drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
