I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
