Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
