Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
