"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
